Category Archives: Musings

The Purge (or) How to Throttle “The Noise” Until It Hurts You Pt. I

Today I had to make lunch. Call me whatever you like, but making lunch for me is usually a stressful endeavor. Right in the thick of things, often when I’m busiest, I have to carve out time to not only eat lunch (which could be a nice break) but invent a lunch, which bears far too much resemblance to what I do in the rest of my life (despite my hope that my other efforts are longer-lasting). Sometimes, I plan ahead, but this kind of planning is also required (of course) right when I don’t want to plan any more. So, I generally rely on pre-made components: microwaveable soup, lunchmeat and bread, etc.

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Three-in-one: Marriage, Community, and Pain

triquetra for blog

My wife and I celebrated our one year anniversary about a week ago. I started brainstorming ways we could commemorate a month before, mostly in the form of trips. Like Walter Mitty I had an itch for adventure, I think I always have, and it felt like time to visit a historic city or chase thrills at an amusement park. Then again, I would have been just as happy to find some peace in nature on a backpacking trip, similar to the way we chose to celebrate our honeymoon. But my wife had a very different idea: she wanted to commemorate our anniversary symbolically. How could I say no to that? Continue reading

The Noise and the Tao: Consumption/Contemplation

Do you ever sense “The Noise?” Does it blind you, strike you, confuse you? Does it make you dizzy or force you to sit? Sometimes it does that to me.

Most of us live amidst “the noise.” Everywhere we turn: we are bombarded. Advertisements, art works, opinions, debates, news. Each of these can be deafening in their own right. Together, they can conjure memories of first learning to swim. As a person deeply interested in multi-media as well as philosophy, theology, literature, and many other things, “The Noise” is almost impossible for me to escape. Further, I suffer from impatience, wanting to consume all their is to know and learn as immediately as possible so that I can put it into action, make something of my knowledge. I think this is a good drive. But it also drives me to insanity.

Enough venting. Let’s get to the good stuff. Continue reading

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United in Struggle: A Prayer for Valentine’s Day


Recently, a friend asked me why a lot of my public life lately has been wrapped up with issues of human sexuality, specifically homosexual/bisexual orientation. He had a point: I am currently working on two screenplays on the subject, am planning a film discussion night on Behind the Candelabra, just published a poem on this blog that could be understood in that light, and have steered much of my private dialog in that direction. But why? I must confess that I am straight and even married despite my young age. So why do I keep indefatigably trying to create dialog on the subject? Well, for one, I see myself in a rather dangerous proximity to systems/communities/cultures of oppression. In this blog, I’m going to define oppression as silencing an opponent, pretending they don’t exist or don’t have an opinion worth hearing. As a Christian, and specifically a member of the Church in the present age, I think it is vitally important to create safe spaces for dialog, and beyond that fellowship and even common worship. Christians confess to believe in the “holy catholic Church.” These days, that’s sounds derisive, but it is meant to be anything but. And, speaking to my Christian readers (for whom honestly this post is for), I believe the Church has done and is doing some incredibly dangerous things in the present day. Continue reading

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Flappy Bird, Addictions, and the Empire of God

My Life Crashed Into Pieces When I Threw Flappy Bird Out Of My Life, Because I Never Truly Had The Chance To Say Goodbye. I Got Angry, I’m Only Human You Know.? So I Just.. I Deleted Him. And Before I Knew It.. Before I Even Had A Chance To Fix What Had Been Done, He Disappeared. I Guess It’s For The Better, Because, Well, He Truly Did Completely Screw My Life Up. My Relationships, My Schoolwork, Even My Eating Habits. He Alienated Me Into Thinking It Was MY fault, Like IM THE LAZY ONE.?!?! But I Still Missed Him. In My Days Of Mourning.. I Ran Across The App Called Splashy Fish. Now Now, We Have All Seen/Heard The Hate Comments About All The ‘Fake’ Flappy Bird Games. It May Not Be The Exact Same Thing, But, This.. THIS IS INCREDIBLE, ITS LIKE IM PLAYING WITH FLAPPY BIRDS LONG LOST COUSIN.!!! I’m Sorry Flappy Bird, For Replacing You. But Thankyou, Thankyou So Much.. For Your Cousin Splashy. It’s Filled The Void In My Life. A Void not Even Christ Could Fill. Yes, I Learned My Lesson. I Will NEVER Get Rid Of Splashy Fish For As Long I Live. -> Twitter: @Jesusistherazor

In Brandon Cronenberg’s Antiviral, Western society goes bezerk when their most beloved celebrity, Hannah Geist, suddenly dies from a viral infection. They cannot cope; the unexpected loss  creates a mad dash to consume what is left of her branded content. As the film continues, new technology begins to emerge that enables a kind of non-sentient immortality for Hannah. Called “Afterlife,” this technology allows the public to engage with their god once more. But, as the film reveals, the afterlife that is created is a grotesque perversion of what it means to be alive, calling into question the public engagement with it. Continue reading

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The Mysteries of Marriage


Photo credit – Emily Waid Photography, 2012


Each person is fully gathered and reflected in the mode of the other: as other, as community and unity at once.

David Bentley Hart, The Beauty of the Infinite

Today, while reading David Bentley Hart on the Divine Fellowship of the Trinity, I began to think about marriage. Now, I imagine this train of thought was brought on by my own marriage which is just over a month away. At certain points this summer, I have lamented that I have not undertaken a more thorough theological study of marriage as preparation. Still, today I have received a rush of thoughts on a theological understanding of marriage, which I will offer as well as I can (not having formally studied the matter) below. Continue reading

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Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD. ~Psalm 31:24

I’ve been thinking about waiting a lot today. Waiting, to me, is a theological concept; it is a mode of response to the challenges of life. Waiting is a recognition that life is often disappointing, that is, it does not conform to what we imagine. In disappointing times, one has often to simply endure until fortunes change. Continue reading

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Gelassenheit, Career, and Gatsby


Today I looked up and the sky and wondered “Where exactly are you taking me, God?”

Then I realized: it shouldn’t matter. I spend so much of my time imagining where I will be in one year, in five years, forward-thinking and planning and moving with intentionality. I really think I can make it, that somehow will do exactly what it takes. The closer I get to each transition in life, the more pressure I feel to somehow make it work for myself. I get insecure, thinking I would be able meet my goals if only I weren’t… The closer I get, the more I realize how little control I actually have over my life. Too infrequently, I realize how good a reality that is. Continue reading

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Deconstructing the Auteur

Recently, I’ve increasingly felt like a failure as an aspiring director because my intuitions aren’t strong enough to make meaningful improvements to a film I am working on. Rather, I feel like I just keep experimenting, endlessly. I guess I always thought that a director should have a vision for everything that goes into a film. Therefore, my lack of vision is a testament to my lack of potential as a director. Continue reading

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Wisdom for Writers

I was recently challenged by some advice that anyone who wants to be a writer must be writing. In a way, this latest bit of wisdom was just the finale in a chain of similar remarks I have been hearing. Either way, I found myself corrected in my faulty view that writer was someone who had written something and would write again. Continue reading

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